Who Stan Lee Wants to Be

Dear Stan Lee:
I hate to break it to you, but you're NOT Alfred Hitchcock. He was actually cool, and he didn't slam his roles up the nose of his viewers to desperately cling to the idea that he's actually contributing something to the world.
The only thing you've successfully contributed were the germs of ideas. I've seen your stories. They suck, even though the characters themselves have often been developed by others into fantastic creations.
Please do EVERYONE a favor and go enjoy your money quietly, because you really aren't as amazingly awesome as you think you are.

Oh and as far as Marvel goes: Stop Ret-conning things every chance you get. Readers actually DO hate Phoenix, we want to see ACTUAL character development AND new characters that don't get offed to make the old ones look cool. We know Wolverine is cool but you can do new stuff with him instead of rehashing the samurai shit again... and again....
I mean seriously: your own FAN base makes jokes at your expense. That's not a good sign.

Basically: Don't be George Lucas: the StarWars system was cool, it became COOLER in the hands of people who loved it, don't make us sit through your personal ego-bation and wreck the whole thing again. It's a big system now Lee. Cut the apron strings.


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That being said: I did mostly enjoy the new Iron Man, but there were a few stretches of my suspension of disbeleif that just made it less enjoyable. I mean aside from the fact I just can't accept Samual L(oudmouth) Jackson as Nick Fury, Whiplash, high point of the whole thing as he was, must have been wearing BRICK UNDERWEAR not to at least be hospitalized after being rammed with a car.

Tony was desperate, but not stupid: Why didn't he think of that lithium whatever?

And could you have BEEN any more obvious than placing his amazing cure in his fathers Diorama?
...Or for that matter any more desperate to make your token supposed bad-ass female who's character name I can't even be bothered to remember, look badass? Did she pull her weapons from the same mythic vagina of holding that Elizabeth Swan pulled that giant gun out of in the greatest fail moment of that Particular Pirates movie? ((Well, maybe not THE greatest failmoment but a pretty big one.))

You had good stuff going, don't force it.


....And for gods sake, if Thor says 'Verily', I will throw up on you idiots.