As I'm sure most people who follow this blog know, I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm pregnant with my second kid. This does I admit give me a certain degree of bias on certain issues, but here's where I point out: I don't think I'm necessarily WRONG... but that doesn't mean people have to agree with me either:
I'm a fairly devoted follower of Bitchy Waiter (who I admit I did initially think was a girl.), but I would really love to hear if "Bitchy" has EVER had a positive experience around kids. Bitchy's always super quick to shame parents for hauling strollers into restaurants, insist that 'all' children are horrible, screamy monsters, and generally condemn the entire next generation until they're old enough to drink legally.
I've somewhat reflexively come to wince at this, because I don't appreciate the attitude that ALL parents are evil, entitled bastards out to inflict misery on others. SOME of us do in fact try and raise children who have a degree of respect for others, and that's an long and uphill battle... and teaching them to deal with other people and public situations involves putting them in public situations and around other people.
In spite of this HORRIFYING truth which is CLEARLY a conspiracy to make miserable people who cannot stand the fact that children exist, to the extent that they probably deny ever having BEEN children. ((Surely someone like Bitchy Sprang angry and fully formed from a Salt Rimmed Margarita Glass, sort of like Athena from the forehead of Zeus.)) MiniMonster has overall, been Goddamn well behaved. He doesn't throw things at other patrons, he does drop his crayons, but jeeze, he's not even two, and we retrieve them, and on the occasions in which he is too tired and angry to do anything but have a melt down, we remove him from the restaurant until he can calm down. (We keep snacks in the car for this reason.
Oh and some of us actually do use high chairs. That's why most restaurants have them. Its nice to have them offered, especially if they've been hidden in some remote corner. Chances are, if they're available, people might ACTUALLY use them. It's incredible.
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"The time of Working Mom's is WAY more important and valuable than that of a Stay at Home Mom"
OH RIGHT. SORRY. Here let me get off the couch, close the bonbons and do everything for you too. CLEARLY I've made the wrong choice in my life by taking advantage of the fact that I am lucky enough that I had the CHOICE to stay at home with my children and be a bigger part of their lives. I forgot that the only way to be fulfilled in life was to work a nine to five.
No seriously though, the fact that I don't collect a regular paycheck doesn't mean I'm not busy, it just means the dress code is more relaxed and my meetings usually involve me and cleaning supplies, or me and the Monster over a box of toys or crayons. I'm not LESS busy, I'm just DIFFERENT Busy. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it's just how we spend it.
It's not like one branch or the other corners the market on being the 'good' moms. I've seen moms just as crappy in both fields. Hell, no matter what version of being a mom you do, if you've chosen to have so little contact with your kids that you don't know their middle names or ANYTHING that they like, you're not a mom. You just happen to have kids. Mom is a title you earn by love.
