Saturday, April 30, 2011

I'm (not) Dreaming of a White Wedding

((No offense to people who did watch the wedding, it's just not my thing, and best wishes to the Royal Couple, who god knows will never read this pansy little blog.))

 Here's where I admit I didn't watch any part of the Royal wedding, and the only time I saw pictures of The Tan Hat was being passed around as an internet meme. ((Holy Cow that was some hat.))

 I didn't watch Diana's wedding either, and honestly I still think the Princess Di thing is WAY overhyped. ((Sorry Di fans)). I'm sure it was really lovely and romantic, but I really guess I'm just not that interested in the weddings and fashions of the famous. I'm the anti-celebophile. I'm very happy for the royal couple but who designed the dress she wore or what color his suit was really don't appeal to me. I'm the sort of person who could give a flying TURD about Branjolina or their kids, and I could give less of a winged turd about what their horde of children are wearing. I mean really, I think it's actually kind of invasive and not very healthy for little kids to being stalked by some dim witted  single minded paparazzi so that fashionofphiles can ooh and ah and either approve of the kids outfit or go: "GOD, they sent them out in THAT?" I mean first folks lets look at what we're dressing our own kids in. Kids under 13 don't need super-mini-skirts and leopard print midriff tops, or t-shirts that imply how 'pimpin' they are, but we spend more time worrying as a culture about weather or not Tom Shmooze's shirt goes with his pants than how we dress and view ourselves.

 Anyway, What the princess wore to her wedding isn't likely to revolutionize the world or end hunger and war, now is it?

 I almost did the princessy white wedding once. I had an gorgeous white dress... sleeveless, buttons down the back, pastel delicate embroidery. A little girl at the fitting, a total stranger, wandered over with wide eyes to tell me that I looked "Just like a Princess".

 But for the man I loved, and still love, who I'm going to be having my second child with, I wore Blue jeans, sneakers, and a nice brown linen shirt we bought at the mall on the way to the ceremony. I held a pair of peacock feathers from one of her huge menagerie of exotic birds instead of a bouquet. He wore jeans too, and we said our vows privately in a white gazebo surrounded by photos of Ms Lambs own ancestors and family in their wedding photos.

 I felt like a princess.