Vortex Shawl

I'm working on knitting the "Vortex" Shawl, a free pattern found on Ravelry. So far there's been one starting set up when MiniMonster decided to come over and rip it off my needles... that was... that was all kinds of not fun, and very depressing. He made up for it by tying VERY hard to be good later, ((he was partially successful.))

 So I Cast On again, and went ahead with things, and got pack to, and past, where I'd lost. It's a nice simple shawl, very intuitively basic, but ingenious. One of those patterns which, like the "Beekeepers Quilt" are designed from ideas so simple that literally anyone could have designed them. Actually it would be kind of fun to make an big round throw out of this on heavier rounds and with heavier yarn. See what you think.

Rage Rage against the... existance of satire?

 SO apparently I -REALLY- pissed someone off on Ravelry.
 ...I wish I could regret it but goddamn it was kind of fun.

 I'm sure you're wondering what the hell happened, so let me explain.

 This recent Simpsons episode, as part of the tail end spoofs, mentioned a few recommendations for the upcoming Christmas Season ((.... of course if you've been in some store's, they've had Christmas Crud in for weeks. Apparently we're no longer classy enough to even wait for Thanksgiving before we cram the shelves full of really bad Santa Figurines and enough lights to illuminate the eastern seaboard. I realize it's an economy thing, but really??))

 Anyway aside from having Homer be Paralized by a Black Widow (their venom doesn't do that.), Riffing on Spider Man, Avatar, Dexter.... GOD.... and mentioning that the best way to help the economy was to spend money you don't have ((Hey it works for the government.)), that you should become an alchoholic 'because you see your family the rest of the year, the holidays are for your bartender.'... they riffed on handmade gifts. ((Such as handmade sweaters/hats/etc.))

 Needless to say, this reference popped up on Ravelry... with a lot of giggling and joking, and a few people admitting they'd started to be offended, and then realized they were riffing again, and laughing.

 All except this one crocheter. Who flipped. The frag. Out.

 She went off on a rather VICIOUS tangent on how OBVIOUSLY all the writers for the Simpsons were idiots, and their facts were wrong, ((...duh. they're recommending alcoholism. it's SATIRE.)) And OMG why would anyone watch this drivel.

 So I popped in, because I'm a nosy bitch and it was an open discussion and said:
 Wait, are we talking about the same episode where Homer was paralyzed by a black widow (etc etc.)... of course their 'facts' are wrong, it's a JOKE. None of it's supposed to be accurate. And anyway, MARGE KNITS.

 The subject in question flew off the handle SO HARD a Mod stepped in. She 'Didn't care' if Marge 'needed two crutches to walk'... so on and so forth. ((because damn, if you're going to get mad, not only get mad, but get offensive. Why do things half ass when you can offend EVERYONE?))
 She followed by responding to others implying how she's better than the rest of us because she has no TV and doesn't watch the show, so she has more time to read and crochet. ((Because obviously having tv's means the rest of us don't do either, we're just on Ravelry for the lulz.)).

 Someone else mentioned that maybe they should consider knowing the CONTEXT of the joke before raging about it, since apparently they hadn't even watched the episode, but again, that made too much sense, and we were all idiots. ((Modhammer again.))

 ...So... yeah. I take sort of a delicious amusement at their expense. It's always fun when a little bit of logical thinking sends someone flying off the deep end.

 Here's to You, Marge Simpson. KNIT ON.

Exersize in Futility

Once again I find myself rambling about something I read on Bitchy Waiter:

 ... Of course any contribution to more people reading Bitchy as a result is probably so minimal they'll never notice, but damn, sometimes I've just gotta get the thoughts out of my head.



 Technically in this case it's in regards to some of Bitchy's rage filled commentators on the subject of having a slightly awkward night when a woman whipped out her boob, and fed her baby in an fairly classy restaurant without using any kind of cover.
 Bitchy went out of their way to point out that the woman was in fact, quite polite, tipped well, and Bitchy themselves didn't make a huge fuss about it at the time, though they admitted that the whole thing was... a bit awkward.

 From the reactions of some of the readers, you would think that Bitchy had just said something as shocking as "I support the Holocaust". Apparently it's HORRIBLY uncomfortable to throw a light cotton blanket or diaper over your shoulder while in public, and TERRIBLY inconvenient, and clearly the ONLY reason why people would be even slightly bothered by random HITHEREBOOBIE moments is because they're CLEARLY only seeing the boobie as 'sexual'. Which is apparently wrong. Apparently boobies are not allowed to be viewed sexually now... because they're baby snack dispensers, and only baby snack dispensers. ((Which is obviously why they're such a major industry in Hollywood and anyplace plastic surgery is found.))

 Oh and the other great one was the assertion that ONLY. And They did say ONLY... women who are unable to breast feed use bottles.

 ...Which kinda gave me pause... since apparently that means Breast Pumps are not designed for putting breast milk into a bottle so that it is not required to whip out boobie at a moments notice, and that, oh, other people can hold and feed the kid. Apparently women who can breast feed ONLY use Boobie.

 ...So then.... why do we have Breast Pumps? Kinkyness? ... They're really not that Kinky. They look like an reverse squirt bottle. OOH. Yeah baby that's sexy. Squeeze it like a Windex bottle.

 ... Anyway yeah I'm done now.

 Do I think the woman was in the wrong? Well... no one complained, but it probably would have been slightly more considerate of her to toss a diaper or something over her shoulder. I mean really the claim that a light weight blanket is ANY hotter than wearing your shirt and bra to begin with is kinda sad... and honstly, the idea that people on the live-journal community "Bad Roleplayers Suck" are more aware of, and more sensitive to, the fact that people can be triggered by totally random stuff and be made VERY uncomfortable... than a bunch of breast feeding mommies is just... Wow.  I mean stop and think about that. You've been out matured by a horde of people, many of which are under 20.

 When you get right down to it, the point is this: If people want to be respected for their right to breast feed in public, they need to show a little respect for others in return. It's unlikely to cause someone to keel over and expire to put one of those paper thin little receiving blankets over their shoulder, and it will make a lot of people a lot more comfortable with what's going on. Insisting that it's your right to flash boobie, and if anyone is uncomfortable with it they're just "Meanie PooPooHeads" is... well it's childish. Respect is a two way street, you give it to get it.

Blatantly Opinionated Blogging

 As I'm sure most people who follow this blog know, I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm pregnant with my second kid. This does I admit give me a certain degree of bias on certain issues, but here's where I point out: I don't think I'm necessarily WRONG... but that doesn't mean people have to agree with me either:

 I'm a fairly devoted follower of Bitchy Waiter (who I admit I did initially think was a girl.), but I would really love to hear if "Bitchy" has EVER had a positive experience around kids. Bitchy's always super quick to shame parents for hauling strollers into restaurants, insist that 'all' children are horrible, screamy monsters, and generally condemn the entire next generation until they're old enough to drink legally.
 I've somewhat reflexively come to wince at this, because I don't appreciate the attitude that ALL parents are evil, entitled bastards out to inflict misery on others. SOME of us do in fact try and raise children who have a degree of respect for others, and that's an long and uphill battle... and teaching them to deal with other people and public situations involves putting them in public situations and around other people.
 In spite of this HORRIFYING truth which is CLEARLY a conspiracy to make miserable people who cannot stand the fact that children exist, to the extent that they probably deny ever having BEEN children. ((Surely someone like Bitchy Sprang angry and fully formed from a Salt Rimmed Margarita Glass, sort of like Athena from the forehead of Zeus.)) MiniMonster has overall, been Goddamn well behaved. He doesn't throw things at other patrons, he does drop his crayons, but jeeze, he's not even two, and we retrieve them, and on the occasions in which he is too tired and angry to do anything but have a melt down, we remove him from the restaurant until he can calm down. (We keep snacks in the car for this reason.

 Oh and some of us actually do use high chairs. That's why most restaurants have them.  Its nice to have them offered, especially if they've been hidden in some remote corner. Chances are, if they're available, people might ACTUALLY use them. It's incredible.

 -----

 "The time of Working Mom's is WAY more important and valuable than that of a Stay at Home Mom"

 OH RIGHT. SORRY. Here let me get off the couch, close the bonbons and do everything for you too. CLEARLY I've made the wrong choice in my life by taking advantage of the fact that I am lucky enough that I had the CHOICE to stay at home with my children and be a bigger part of their lives.  I forgot that the only way to be fulfilled in life was to work a nine to five.
 No seriously though, the fact that I don't collect a regular paycheck doesn't mean I'm not busy, it just means the dress code is more relaxed and my meetings usually involve me and cleaning supplies, or me and the Monster over a box of toys or crayons. I'm not LESS busy, I'm just DIFFERENT Busy. We all have the same 24 hours in a day, it's just how we spend it.
 It's not like one branch or the other corners the market on being the 'good' moms. I've seen moms just as crappy in both fields. Hell, no matter what version of being a mom you do, if you've chosen to have so little contact with your kids that you don't know their middle names or ANYTHING that they like, you're not a mom. You just happen to have kids. Mom is a title you earn by love.

Rainbow Dash and Corvettes

 These are the funny things that make it completely awesome to be a mom.

 The little things like discovering that, (although I'm sure Grandma S. would pull her hair out in panic), MiniMonster can love watching MLP Friendship is Magic with the same gleeful intensity as Top Gear (British or American.)

 ... Betcha it's Rainbow Dash he likes. ;D They've both got a need for speed.

It's my Kitchen and I pick the Menu

 So apparently my food whims inspire an occasional round of brattyness, since I bought the ingredients to make my Crock Pot Vinegar BBQ one of the next couple days ((Not tonight though I'm making fresh corn again. The season is too short to miss a good opportunity and I reallllly want more.))

 I'm a little afraid Tilmani will be bored with having corn again so soon, but I might just have to be kinda mean and pull the 'I'm pregnant and I say so' card, which I try not to do. That and if you don't help me plan the menu you eat what I give you. If you don't like it, check out the handy dandy leftover soup in the fridge.

 ...Ok that's me sounding meaner than I think I'd actually be, barring some serious crazy prego meltdown. Still, that's a couple meals this week I'm making purely because I want them. 

 I just feel kinda crazy grumpy and I'm trying to decide if I'm right or wrong about an situation with some paid art.

 I paid good money a while back to get a piece of art from an otherwise very sweet artist. Since that time, three years ago now, maybe a bit more, said sweet artist has dealt with some big issues IRL, including the end of a bad relationship.

 I sympathize with the demise of a bad relationship, but I do not sympathize with it taking three plus years to finish what I paid for... especially since there have since been vacations for the subject and gifts for other people. Gifts. For other people.

 ...I draw the line at gifts for others, especially when you haven't finished the list of things people paid you to do. I think, personally, that if you're going to charge people for art, you owe them that art, and you knuckle down and you DO that art before you go dither around making stuff for other people, especially if people have been waiting for -years- to get that art.

 ...Maybe I'm being crazy and bitchy and judgmental... but damnit. I want my art.

Little Red Monsters

Well I'll admit, one of the toys I did NOT want to see in this house was Elmo. In any form.
 That little red monster with his OBNOXIOUS voice and severe case of overmernchandisingitis drives me crazy on levels matched only by Disney crap, because the only thing more overmerchandizsed than Elmo is ANYTHING barfed up by Disney Corp. They even got to 'Cars'... it's terrible, though I'll admit monster has a "Tow Mater" plushie also.

 Anyway, we went to the candy store to drop off a hoodie that Auntie Roo forgot, and while we were browsing the bins of sugary goodies (so tempting), she handed him a little five dollar Elmo doll with a purple shirt that says "Hugs and Kisses".

 Something about that doll was a bigger hit than even his toy cars. He wouldn't put it down for love, money, or candy. He wouldn't even trade it for a big stuffed puppy, and he LOVES stuffed puppies.

 It was a highly calculated move by a manipulative Sales-Auntie, and we ended up leaving with it. He wouldn't even leave him in the car to run errands at Wal-Mart. Nope, that Elmo doll HAD to come with us, only briefly surrendered to a purse ride in temporary favor of some brand new fuzzy footie PJ's. After we got home, I dug him out of the purse and handed him back, where he was received with hugs and kisses, and fed (soggy) cocopuffs while I got the rest of the groceries in from the car. They're currently taking a nap together.