Just taking a brief post to have an intensely happy geeky moment.

 One of my online friends and people I rp with drew one of my RPG characters (Jaimie Leontyne) and I just discovered this. So in the usual round about attempt to make photobucket ((stupid photobucket)) take the picture, I'm pulling it up here for you all to stare at.

Obligatory Roar:  THIS PICTURE BELONGS TO ME/ITS CREATOR. IT IS NOT A FREE USE PICTURE. GO PAY SOMEONE ON DEVART TO DRAW YOUR OWN ART, ART THIEVES. >8c

I'm (not) Dreaming of a White Wedding

((No offense to people who did watch the wedding, it's just not my thing, and best wishes to the Royal Couple, who god knows will never read this pansy little blog.))

 Here's where I admit I didn't watch any part of the Royal wedding, and the only time I saw pictures of The Tan Hat was being passed around as an internet meme. ((Holy Cow that was some hat.))

 I didn't watch Diana's wedding either, and honestly I still think the Princess Di thing is WAY overhyped. ((Sorry Di fans)). I'm sure it was really lovely and romantic, but I really guess I'm just not that interested in the weddings and fashions of the famous. I'm the anti-celebophile. I'm very happy for the royal couple but who designed the dress she wore or what color his suit was really don't appeal to me. I'm the sort of person who could give a flying TURD about Branjolina or their kids, and I could give less of a winged turd about what their horde of children are wearing. I mean really, I think it's actually kind of invasive and not very healthy for little kids to being stalked by some dim witted  single minded paparazzi so that fashionofphiles can ooh and ah and either approve of the kids outfit or go: "GOD, they sent them out in THAT?" I mean first folks lets look at what we're dressing our own kids in. Kids under 13 don't need super-mini-skirts and leopard print midriff tops, or t-shirts that imply how 'pimpin' they are, but we spend more time worrying as a culture about weather or not Tom Shmooze's shirt goes with his pants than how we dress and view ourselves.

 Anyway, What the princess wore to her wedding isn't likely to revolutionize the world or end hunger and war, now is it?

 I almost did the princessy white wedding once. I had an gorgeous white dress... sleeveless, buttons down the back, pastel delicate embroidery. A little girl at the fitting, a total stranger, wandered over with wide eyes to tell me that I looked "Just like a Princess".

 But for the man I loved, and still love, who I'm going to be having my second child with, I wore Blue jeans, sneakers, and a nice brown linen shirt we bought at the mall on the way to the ceremony. I held a pair of peacock feathers from one of her huge menagerie of exotic birds instead of a bouquet. He wore jeans too, and we said our vows privately in a white gazebo surrounded by photos of Ms Lambs own ancestors and family in their wedding photos.

 I felt like a princess.

What is this? I don't even....

Struts: Sexed up Kids Toys

I wish I was kidding about these, but they're real... and apparently created by an equally appropriately named toy company "Playmates Toys" ((Somehow I don't think Hugh Heffner would find these quite as appealing though.))

 These are at least as bad as those AWFUL Bratz dolls, which might as well say: "Teach your Daughter to dream of being a Five Dollar Hooker and dress like one too." And they're playing on the Girls and Horses thing too. And the fact that they're Horses in ultra tall stiletto heels is just... I mean... what the HELL.

 This is the sort of thing that makes me cringe over the idea of ever having a daughter, since so many girls toys these days are like this. I can't even picture how difficult it would be to raise a girl with a healthy sense of self esteem when this is the sort of shit she has for toys and rolemodels.

 All around us we've got the message that girls are 'empowered' when they slut themselves up, have sex left and right, ((because empowerment is ALL about courting STD's and pregnancy, and having a black book like a lounge lizard.)) Oh and we can't forget that we're increasingly seeing the mindset that being a Mom is the lowest you can sink. Being an Actress or a Hooker is clearly a better profession. ((Is there much difference between Actress and Hooker these days? There wasn't way back in the day, and Hollywood seems to tell us NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED.))

 What the hell is wrong with this picture?

 Seriously, someone BURN this crap. Can we get back to the point where part of empowerment is respecting your body and yourself?

Birch Leaves

So at long last I am definitely and officially doing a practice lace knit!

 I'm doing a pattern called "Falling Birch Leaves" from a designer on Ravelry, who was nice enough to do some really beginner level patterns for people like me who really aren't ready to launch into giant gauzy round shawls with beads and twenty-yarn-overs in a row. ((See above))

 It's also my first time reading a lace chart, which so far is going better than I would have expected. I am however doing the knit in a practice run in Caron Simply Soft ((A springy leaf green)) which is a considerably larger, heavier yarn than the pattern calls for, which is making the leaves far more '3D' which is kind of interesting. I'll be trying it in a much lighter yarn afterward, but working with a Worsted-weight yarn is good practice, because it's less delicate and just a bit easier to handle.

 I also bought MiniMonster some new shoes, he's now got a pair of bright blue Baby-sized Converse. Well... toddler really. They have slots for lacing up, but really those are mostly for show because there's a hidden strip of velcro, which means I don't, in fact, have to spend as much time trying to struggle with a disinterested toddler to get his shoes on as it probably looks like I did.

 I was going to get him another pair of "Robeez" moccasins, but when I checked the only store in town that carries them, the only options were pink, lacy, and flowery. ... As much as I don't have a problem with any choices Mini might make later in life, I think I'm going to avoid going down that path personally. It would just seem weird to have him dressed in his favorite hot-wheels shirt and a pair of pink, flower covered moccasins.

 So we ended up going over to Khols and I found him a pair of shoes within 20 minutes. Take that expensive specialty children's store. :p

US Postal Suck

 Dear USPS:
   apparently the last letters of your initials stand for Powerful Suckage and not Postal Service. I'm reasonably sure that my package from Creature Comforts on Etsy will actually arrive, but there's a powerful degree of idiocy when you send me a "Your package has shipped" email complete with a tracking number, and clicking on the link or trying to search for the number provided to me in the YOUR PACKAGE HAS SHIPPED email results in the message:

"There is no record of this item."

 Your message further notes that this COULD be because it was shipped "recently" but I remember from the last time that during the entire time that it was in transit, you were unable to actually locate the number you had assigned it. 


 Apparently it is in fact an minor act of God that anything shipped through you actually gets where it's going.


No wonder everyone prefers alternate methods of shipping.


 Seriously, get your act together. I'm sure there are very nice people that work for you, but as a unit, you fail.

Accomplished

 It probably says something about my level of growing domesticity when my great accomplishment for the day is getting the shopping and laundry done, and dinner, and having a reasonably clean kitchen and living room when it's all said and done. ((The bedrooms still look like they were hit by small tornadoes... but it's a work in progress.

 This sounds slightly pathetic when you compare it to another friend's great accomplishment being getting their play into a festival, but hey. I'm a Thirty-Odd year old Stay and Home mom, beginner chief, knitter, uber-noobie crocheter, and all around geek.

 I'll take my acomplishments where I can get them.

 Like my plants for example. my second round tray (tomatoes, some peppers, and onions) is doing fantastic, my Parsley is trying to take over the world (I may need to move it into it's own pot) and the very last tray, which has bell peppers of various forms, has developed it's first tiny little starts.

 I. The black thumb. AM GROWING THINGS. THEY HAVE NOT DIED YET. THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING.

 The day wasn't without it's fails and frustrations: I put too much pepper in the Beef and Barley stew, and I learned that while my little hand held sewing machine is ok for some stuff, it's definitely going to have trouble taking the place of a full scale model. I also terrified myself about a dozen times forgetting which position was 'locked and off' and which was 'On and hungry for flesh'. 

 I succeeded in making what was probably the worlds shittiest pillowcase for a tiny pillow for the monster ((mostly for play right now, but it's his scale which is kind of awesome.)), but couldn't get the thing to cooperate to actually seam the half finished blanket I had planned for him ages ago. Maybe I'll have to give up and go borrow my mom's sewing machine. *SIGH* X_X

ORLY?

Hey hey, it's time for some new pictures! I've been working hard on trying to teach myself how to crochet, and this has ended up in me working on trying to make a stuffed Barn Owl for The MiniMonster.

He's a big fan of the "Guardian of Ga'hoole" movie, ((and I got the first three books to read to him when he's slightly more patient about that sort of thing. I read them myself and they're actually quite good!)) So to show off that I have successfully taught myself basic crochet ((Now I need to learn how to read crochet instructions so I can do Amigirumi.)) I took a couple pictures of the Owl in Progress.

 His face is a knitted panel with two different strands of yarn to give some color depth ((Palate and I think some Rowan...something.)) and his back is some Lion Brand and another bit of Palate yarn.)) ((Thank you Knitpicks.)) His chest is being knit in a white fluffy yarn for extra snuggle, and I'll add black spots on before I close him up. I forget the brand of the white floofy stuff. So far he's not the most amazing toy owl out there, but I'm actually quite proud of myself!

Eyes and beak will also be added after I'm done hooking my way through his torso. I'll add the tail and some feet (probably Icord constructions) after I've stuffed and sewn the body.