I've actually got another post I want to write about a particular fandom I'm part of... sort of... but for now I'm going to stick to some Baby related humor.
Yesterday in an attempt to calm down Bean, who was pretty much alternating between big swings of "I love everyone" and "Wailing rage", I decided to try and give him a bath. At this point he was already hacked off to high levels because I made the unforgivable mistake of trying to get him to nap, so he looked at me like someone betrayed by his last friend as I got him ready for the bath, then immediately turned into 'Velcro Baby' when I picked him up. ((this state is when Baby latches on with a ferocious deathgrip of surprising power and will not let go.))
So I take Velcro with me to the bathroom figuring if I share a tub with him maybe he'll freak out a bit less. Security and all that. Everything goes fine as we sit down and he sits on my lap, still with his tiny little claws dug into my flesh.
Eventually he starts to relax, and I make my next mistake: Trying to place baby butt into water deeper than a centimeter. The scene that followed, with a bit of 'scream' translation was pretty much like this:
Me: "Ok lets get you cleaned up, see? The water's nice and warm...."
Bean: <OHMYGOD THERE ARE BABY EATING RAPTOR-CLOWNS IN THE WATER! SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!>
Me: JEEZUS! OK! OK! I've got you!! ((Return baby to lap))
Bean: ((CLINGS LIKE SUPERGLUE and is silent again.))
Eventually I did actually get him to relax before the water got cold, and he even let me lower him into the water so he could play a little, kicking his feet in slow motion and being fascinated by how moving water feels, but pretty much all of the actual bathing part was done by pouring water on him as he clung to me like a very wide eyed growth.
And that, folks, was the incident that shall be forever known as: RAPTOR BATH.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Popcorn on the Stove
No catchy title this morning, sorry. I just wanted to share the tidbit that making popcorn on the stove instead of the microwave is awesome. It's not as fast, but it's fun, even if I end up cleaning up escaped popcorn later because the pot overflows.
We don't have a microwave so I don't really have a choice about WHERE I make it, but the fun of watching the kids faces as kernels jump up and hit the glass lid is a LOT of fun. Way cooler than watching a paper bag spin and inflate. Plus we can customize our popcorn flavor however we want. Mmm.
Yeah I made popcorn this morning. Bean got to watch for the first time and absolutely wouldn't look away until it was done. It was so much fun. And tasty!
And before anyone else asks I didn't watch the Oscars. I got everything I need to know about them from Tony Van Helsing. Go read his blog about them. It's much more fun and wastes much less time.
We don't have a microwave so I don't really have a choice about WHERE I make it, but the fun of watching the kids faces as kernels jump up and hit the glass lid is a LOT of fun. Way cooler than watching a paper bag spin and inflate. Plus we can customize our popcorn flavor however we want. Mmm.
Yeah I made popcorn this morning. Bean got to watch for the first time and absolutely wouldn't look away until it was done. It was so much fun. And tasty!
And before anyone else asks I didn't watch the Oscars. I got everything I need to know about them from Tony Van Helsing. Go read his blog about them. It's much more fun and wastes much less time.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Public Consumption
I had to go to the dentist the other day to get a crown, finishing up the root canal that got underway last month. This took a while, so I sat with a magazine for a while. One discussion that stood out was a bunch of angry letters about the cook Paula Dean, with whom I am passingly familiar as someone who uses butter by the tub. Apparently she has Type two diabetes.
Apparently this is a point of moral outrage with a number of people, who feel that the fact her cooking show does not revolve around 'diabetic' recipes and the fact she didn't tell people that she had the condition at the start means that she was 'lying'.
Because apparently sharing high calorie recipes with people makes every detail of your life open for public consumption...and forses people to watch your show and make your butter rich dishes?
I don't understand this. No one is forcing people to watch. No one is forcing anyone to cook like she does, and it's no one else's business but hers how she handles her own condition.
Where do we get this idea that we have a say in how she handles herself? It's as obnoxious as people arguing over weather or not 'Suri's' clothes are cute and fashionable enough.
Apparently this is a point of moral outrage with a number of people, who feel that the fact her cooking show does not revolve around 'diabetic' recipes and the fact she didn't tell people that she had the condition at the start means that she was 'lying'.
Because apparently sharing high calorie recipes with people makes every detail of your life open for public consumption...and forses people to watch your show and make your butter rich dishes?
I don't understand this. No one is forcing people to watch. No one is forcing anyone to cook like she does, and it's no one else's business but hers how she handles her own condition.
Where do we get this idea that we have a say in how she handles herself? It's as obnoxious as people arguing over weather or not 'Suri's' clothes are cute and fashionable enough.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Hint a Little Harder
One of the roleplaying game's I'm in has an... interesting little problem player. She's friendly enough, for the most part, though she decided that she had every right to tell someone they weren't allowed to play because she didn't like them, in spite of not having any actual game authority. Yeah that went over well as you might imagine.
Mostly she's sort of like a Golden Retriever puppy. A Golden Retriever puppy that hasn't been remotely house trained... and she seems incredibly, insanely resiliant to getting a clue. She's been told repeatedly to stop dropping hints over what she thinks her characters should get (And continues to do so), IN another setting she's been told she needs to do what the clearly stated rules say and wait for actual players to show up for injury treatment instead of just making up random people so she can heal them with her amazing specialness...
She refuses to get a clue as well over the fact that demanding that certain events happen RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE'S SO EXCITED SHE JUST CAN'T WAIT will Continue to piss off the Game Masters, who have already expressed, very plainly and in small words, that they are really really pissed off when she does this. BUT SHE CAN'T HELP IT SHE'S SO EXCITED CAN WE DO IT NOW NOW NOW?
I'd say she's acting like a baby, but my Babies LEARN FASTER.
Speaking of which: Bean has entered a colic-y stage, or if you're interested in terminology I hadn't heard before "Purple Crying". Apparently this is a period where the baby is too old to be able to 'shut out' excessive stimulus, and not old enough to adapt to the confusion, leading to periods where any stimulation is pretty much TOO much, and thus causing them to cry and scream in frustration and distress. He's loosing sleep, we're loosing sanity, and all of us, including Bean, are holding out for the point when it's all over. It doesn't help that it means he's very difficult, or nigh on impossible to calm down, and he's a lot less perky about it than the Golden Retriever. Oh and he's probably teething, which is extremely early, but I don't have any better explanation for him chewing vigorously on his fingers even when he's not hungry. I imagine that's not helping his mood either, poor guy.
Mostly she's sort of like a Golden Retriever puppy. A Golden Retriever puppy that hasn't been remotely house trained... and she seems incredibly, insanely resiliant to getting a clue. She's been told repeatedly to stop dropping hints over what she thinks her characters should get (And continues to do so), IN another setting she's been told she needs to do what the clearly stated rules say and wait for actual players to show up for injury treatment instead of just making up random people so she can heal them with her amazing specialness...
She refuses to get a clue as well over the fact that demanding that certain events happen RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE'S SO EXCITED SHE JUST CAN'T WAIT will Continue to piss off the Game Masters, who have already expressed, very plainly and in small words, that they are really really pissed off when she does this. BUT SHE CAN'T HELP IT SHE'S SO EXCITED CAN WE DO IT NOW NOW NOW?
I'd say she's acting like a baby, but my Babies LEARN FASTER.
Speaking of which: Bean has entered a colic-y stage, or if you're interested in terminology I hadn't heard before "Purple Crying". Apparently this is a period where the baby is too old to be able to 'shut out' excessive stimulus, and not old enough to adapt to the confusion, leading to periods where any stimulation is pretty much TOO much, and thus causing them to cry and scream in frustration and distress. He's loosing sleep, we're loosing sanity, and all of us, including Bean, are holding out for the point when it's all over. It doesn't help that it means he's very difficult, or nigh on impossible to calm down, and he's a lot less perky about it than the Golden Retriever. Oh and he's probably teething, which is extremely early, but I don't have any better explanation for him chewing vigorously on his fingers even when he's not hungry. I imagine that's not helping his mood either, poor guy.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Come to me my Husbands Awesome Chili
I decided to get a head start on Dinner today since both kids (Bean and MiniMonster) were down for a snooze, something made possible by us having tortilla chips and all the ingredients for my husbands fantastic, beanless Chili.
For some of you this may be heresy, but I have to admit I've never been a big 'bean' person, and never even really big on Chili, though I like spicy food, so being introduced to Tilmani's chili for the first time when we were still dating was virtually a religious experience for me. It was Chili, WITH BACON IN IT. It was chili full of meat and smokey goodness, tomato sauce and a touch of salt from the chips, and just a little heat. Enough that I could enjoy it, not so much that Tilmani, who's not so big on Spicy food, couldn't.
Since I've got a batch simmering in the Crock Pot now, to continue cooking until we're all ready to dive in (or until my willpower caves and I go after it early), I thought I'd share it with you, my patient handful of readers, that you may experience this godly stuff for yourselves.
What you Need to cook this amazing stuff is the following:
1 lb or so of Ground Beef, 90% lean ((A little more or a little less is just fine, depending on your preference, but you don't want to get too fatty a meat for this.))
1 small can of diced Chili's.
1/2 jar of -REAL- bacon bits. Screw the artificial stuff. ((You can use and crumble regular bacon, but this works just fine for me and I'm a bacon nut. .... actually I cheated and put in the WHOLE bottle of bacon bits. He doesn't need to know if he doesn't notice.))
1 6oz can of tomato paste
1 29oz can of tomato sauce
1 onion (we use sweet), chopped
and 1 pack of McCormic's Chilli seasonings: OR mix Black Pepper, Red Pepper, Garlic and a Dash of Mustard Powder. ((this is my twist on the original seasonings.))
and Tortilla Chips if you like Chili with Chips. Use your favorite brand.
Put everything except the seasonings and ground beef into your crock pot and set it to start heating up. It can start to simmer together while you take the ground beef, put it in a pan, season it with the above seasonings, and brown it carefully. When it's nice and brown and chopped up into smaller bits to your liking, drain off the fat carefully and put the meat into the crock pot. Set it to Low (or Warm, if your crock pot runs hot.) and let it simmer with the lid on for as long as you'd like. Technically since everything's ready you could eat it as soon as it's hot, but Chili's one of those meals that's really great when it has time to sit and converse with itself, so why not let it do so?
Have a blast and try not to think too much about what it might be doing to your arteries. ((Hey, the bacon bits have lower fat than pan cooked bacon, you can always comfort yourself with that. And more Chili.))
Serve
For some of you this may be heresy, but I have to admit I've never been a big 'bean' person, and never even really big on Chili, though I like spicy food, so being introduced to Tilmani's chili for the first time when we were still dating was virtually a religious experience for me. It was Chili, WITH BACON IN IT. It was chili full of meat and smokey goodness, tomato sauce and a touch of salt from the chips, and just a little heat. Enough that I could enjoy it, not so much that Tilmani, who's not so big on Spicy food, couldn't.
Since I've got a batch simmering in the Crock Pot now, to continue cooking until we're all ready to dive in (or until my willpower caves and I go after it early), I thought I'd share it with you, my patient handful of readers, that you may experience this godly stuff for yourselves.
What you Need to cook this amazing stuff is the following:
1 lb or so of Ground Beef, 90% lean ((A little more or a little less is just fine, depending on your preference, but you don't want to get too fatty a meat for this.))
1 small can of diced Chili's.
1/2 jar of -REAL- bacon bits. Screw the artificial stuff. ((You can use and crumble regular bacon, but this works just fine for me and I'm a bacon nut. .... actually I cheated and put in the WHOLE bottle of bacon bits. He doesn't need to know if he doesn't notice.))
1 6oz can of tomato paste
1 29oz can of tomato sauce
1 onion (we use sweet), chopped
and 1 pack of McCormic's Chilli seasonings: OR mix Black Pepper, Red Pepper, Garlic and a Dash of Mustard Powder. ((this is my twist on the original seasonings.))
and Tortilla Chips if you like Chili with Chips. Use your favorite brand.
Put everything except the seasonings and ground beef into your crock pot and set it to start heating up. It can start to simmer together while you take the ground beef, put it in a pan, season it with the above seasonings, and brown it carefully. When it's nice and brown and chopped up into smaller bits to your liking, drain off the fat carefully and put the meat into the crock pot. Set it to Low (or Warm, if your crock pot runs hot.) and let it simmer with the lid on for as long as you'd like. Technically since everything's ready you could eat it as soon as it's hot, but Chili's one of those meals that's really great when it has time to sit and converse with itself, so why not let it do so?
Have a blast and try not to think too much about what it might be doing to your arteries. ((Hey, the bacon bits have lower fat than pan cooked bacon, you can always comfort yourself with that. And more Chili.))
Serve
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Hagravens don't take rejection well
We got a copy of Skyrim earlier in the month: Tilmani and I both have characters, though he's played more than I have... which lead to the interesting discovery that inspired the title.
Hagravens in Skyrim, if you don't know, are pretty much exactly what they sound like. Part Hag, part Raven, and they're generally unpleasant characters, as probably anyone would be if you looked wrinkled, bent, grouchy and feathered. Anyway, Tilmani's character... named Tilmani, got drunk, and apparently one of the things he did while drunk was go get a wedding ring and propose to this delightful woman he'd met while smashed out of his mind. The jeweler was happy to inform us how he'd described the most ROMANTIC of evenings in the moonlight, and let us know she'd take the ring back if we weren't engaged, but sounded a bit less than approving that he didn't seem to remember any of this. ((Surprise surprise.))
So we cruise around for a while and he finally gets around to finding out who he went and got engaged to while drunk and when we get to the area, the lovely beautious lady is... a HagRaven.
A Hagraven who is VERY. VERY. Angry when asked to return the ring (the only option the game gives you on this front... sadly... otherwise I think this could be kind of awesome.) And she attacks on the spot. Tilmani won, though since he'd JUST been fighting a equally angry dragon (maybe it knew the Hagraven?), it was a little on the close side. Don't know where the rest of this particular quest will go but that was a rather funny discovery.
So yeah apparently HagRavens don't handle rejection well. Sorry lady.
Hagravens in Skyrim, if you don't know, are pretty much exactly what they sound like. Part Hag, part Raven, and they're generally unpleasant characters, as probably anyone would be if you looked wrinkled, bent, grouchy and feathered. Anyway, Tilmani's character... named Tilmani, got drunk, and apparently one of the things he did while drunk was go get a wedding ring and propose to this delightful woman he'd met while smashed out of his mind. The jeweler was happy to inform us how he'd described the most ROMANTIC of evenings in the moonlight, and let us know she'd take the ring back if we weren't engaged, but sounded a bit less than approving that he didn't seem to remember any of this. ((Surprise surprise.))
So we cruise around for a while and he finally gets around to finding out who he went and got engaged to while drunk and when we get to the area, the lovely beautious lady is... a HagRaven.
A Hagraven who is VERY. VERY. Angry when asked to return the ring (the only option the game gives you on this front... sadly... otherwise I think this could be kind of awesome.) And she attacks on the spot. Tilmani won, though since he'd JUST been fighting a equally angry dragon (maybe it knew the Hagraven?), it was a little on the close side. Don't know where the rest of this particular quest will go but that was a rather funny discovery.
So yeah apparently HagRavens don't handle rejection well. Sorry lady.
Monday, February 13, 2012
I think you just cost yourself your point
So I've been following some arguments about a rather controversial video. You may have seen it. It's the one where the guy's daughter decides she's a 'slave' because she has to make her bed, clean the counters, and take out the trash,and in return gets nothing but her own laptop, cell phone, food, shelter, clothing and education...
Ok you can probably guess I wasn't thrilled about the kids behavior and I highly disagree that it's normal. ((You can become independent of your parents without slandering and lying and failing to acknowledge what they do for you. You really can. It's amazing.))
Anyway the guy's gone viral because he read her really horrible, slanderous bitchfest letter to them on video and destroyed her lap top. With his gun. Which is from a certain perspective the very extreme equivalent of throwing away a kids crayons because they won't stop drawing on the wall.
I can see where this would freak people the fuck out. I can. Peoples idea of what constitutes appropriate parenting has changed a lot from when we ourselves were growing up, but really thats not what I'm here to write about.
I have my own opinions on if he was right, wrong, or right but over the top, but some of the people in the 'wrong' camp...
I think they kind of seriously cost themselves their point when they compared the destruction of an inanimate object to RAPE or BEATING YOUR WIFE. I also think it's kind of bull that they think it's ok for the kid to say horrible horrible lies about their parents ((I mean where's the fine line on that one? When does it stop being ok to make up stuff about someone because you're angry?)) But really.
Don't compare things to rape UNLESS IT'S RAPE.
When you do that you've completely gone off the fucking tracks, especially over something like this,and you have pretty much LOST. THE POINT. In fact you have actively damaged the chances of anyone siding with you because they're probably sitting back wondering what the fuck they just read.
I was. I mean hell. I'm as fascinated by an argument as any typical internet voyeur, but that? I draw the line at that bullshit.
((Oh and apparently before anyone freaks out: the guy has in fact been investigated and everyone seems to be ok. Including the "poor poor abused girl who lost her laptop." It's the internet that can't let the whole thing go. Wow. What a surprise. Although perhaps for her an even better way of demonstrating that NOTHING on the internet is really private than having her dad discover the letter was.))
Ok you can probably guess I wasn't thrilled about the kids behavior and I highly disagree that it's normal. ((You can become independent of your parents without slandering and lying and failing to acknowledge what they do for you. You really can. It's amazing.))
Anyway the guy's gone viral because he read her really horrible, slanderous bitchfest letter to them on video and destroyed her lap top. With his gun. Which is from a certain perspective the very extreme equivalent of throwing away a kids crayons because they won't stop drawing on the wall.
I can see where this would freak people the fuck out. I can. Peoples idea of what constitutes appropriate parenting has changed a lot from when we ourselves were growing up, but really thats not what I'm here to write about.
I have my own opinions on if he was right, wrong, or right but over the top, but some of the people in the 'wrong' camp...
I think they kind of seriously cost themselves their point when they compared the destruction of an inanimate object to RAPE or BEATING YOUR WIFE. I also think it's kind of bull that they think it's ok for the kid to say horrible horrible lies about their parents ((I mean where's the fine line on that one? When does it stop being ok to make up stuff about someone because you're angry?)) But really.
Don't compare things to rape UNLESS IT'S RAPE.
When you do that you've completely gone off the fucking tracks, especially over something like this,and you have pretty much LOST. THE POINT. In fact you have actively damaged the chances of anyone siding with you because they're probably sitting back wondering what the fuck they just read.
I was. I mean hell. I'm as fascinated by an argument as any typical internet voyeur, but that? I draw the line at that bullshit.
((Oh and apparently before anyone freaks out: the guy has in fact been investigated and everyone seems to be ok. Including the "poor poor abused girl who lost her laptop." It's the internet that can't let the whole thing go. Wow. What a surprise. Although perhaps for her an even better way of demonstrating that NOTHING on the internet is really private than having her dad discover the letter was.))
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