What is this? I don't even....

Struts: Sexed up Kids Toys

I wish I was kidding about these, but they're real... and apparently created by an equally appropriately named toy company "Playmates Toys" ((Somehow I don't think Hugh Heffner would find these quite as appealing though.))

 These are at least as bad as those AWFUL Bratz dolls, which might as well say: "Teach your Daughter to dream of being a Five Dollar Hooker and dress like one too." And they're playing on the Girls and Horses thing too. And the fact that they're Horses in ultra tall stiletto heels is just... I mean... what the HELL.

 This is the sort of thing that makes me cringe over the idea of ever having a daughter, since so many girls toys these days are like this. I can't even picture how difficult it would be to raise a girl with a healthy sense of self esteem when this is the sort of shit she has for toys and rolemodels.

 All around us we've got the message that girls are 'empowered' when they slut themselves up, have sex left and right, ((because empowerment is ALL about courting STD's and pregnancy, and having a black book like a lounge lizard.)) Oh and we can't forget that we're increasingly seeing the mindset that being a Mom is the lowest you can sink. Being an Actress or a Hooker is clearly a better profession. ((Is there much difference between Actress and Hooker these days? There wasn't way back in the day, and Hollywood seems to tell us NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED.))

 What the hell is wrong with this picture?

 Seriously, someone BURN this crap. Can we get back to the point where part of empowerment is respecting your body and yourself?

Birch Leaves

So at long last I am definitely and officially doing a practice lace knit!

 I'm doing a pattern called "Falling Birch Leaves" from a designer on Ravelry, who was nice enough to do some really beginner level patterns for people like me who really aren't ready to launch into giant gauzy round shawls with beads and twenty-yarn-overs in a row. ((See above))

 It's also my first time reading a lace chart, which so far is going better than I would have expected. I am however doing the knit in a practice run in Caron Simply Soft ((A springy leaf green)) which is a considerably larger, heavier yarn than the pattern calls for, which is making the leaves far more '3D' which is kind of interesting. I'll be trying it in a much lighter yarn afterward, but working with a Worsted-weight yarn is good practice, because it's less delicate and just a bit easier to handle.

 I also bought MiniMonster some new shoes, he's now got a pair of bright blue Baby-sized Converse. Well... toddler really. They have slots for lacing up, but really those are mostly for show because there's a hidden strip of velcro, which means I don't, in fact, have to spend as much time trying to struggle with a disinterested toddler to get his shoes on as it probably looks like I did.

 I was going to get him another pair of "Robeez" moccasins, but when I checked the only store in town that carries them, the only options were pink, lacy, and flowery. ... As much as I don't have a problem with any choices Mini might make later in life, I think I'm going to avoid going down that path personally. It would just seem weird to have him dressed in his favorite hot-wheels shirt and a pair of pink, flower covered moccasins.

 So we ended up going over to Khols and I found him a pair of shoes within 20 minutes. Take that expensive specialty children's store. :p

US Postal Suck

 Dear USPS:
   apparently the last letters of your initials stand for Powerful Suckage and not Postal Service. I'm reasonably sure that my package from Creature Comforts on Etsy will actually arrive, but there's a powerful degree of idiocy when you send me a "Your package has shipped" email complete with a tracking number, and clicking on the link or trying to search for the number provided to me in the YOUR PACKAGE HAS SHIPPED email results in the message:

"There is no record of this item."

 Your message further notes that this COULD be because it was shipped "recently" but I remember from the last time that during the entire time that it was in transit, you were unable to actually locate the number you had assigned it. 


 Apparently it is in fact an minor act of God that anything shipped through you actually gets where it's going.


No wonder everyone prefers alternate methods of shipping.


 Seriously, get your act together. I'm sure there are very nice people that work for you, but as a unit, you fail.

Accomplished

 It probably says something about my level of growing domesticity when my great accomplishment for the day is getting the shopping and laundry done, and dinner, and having a reasonably clean kitchen and living room when it's all said and done. ((The bedrooms still look like they were hit by small tornadoes... but it's a work in progress.

 This sounds slightly pathetic when you compare it to another friend's great accomplishment being getting their play into a festival, but hey. I'm a Thirty-Odd year old Stay and Home mom, beginner chief, knitter, uber-noobie crocheter, and all around geek.

 I'll take my acomplishments where I can get them.

 Like my plants for example. my second round tray (tomatoes, some peppers, and onions) is doing fantastic, my Parsley is trying to take over the world (I may need to move it into it's own pot) and the very last tray, which has bell peppers of various forms, has developed it's first tiny little starts.

 I. The black thumb. AM GROWING THINGS. THEY HAVE NOT DIED YET. THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING.

 The day wasn't without it's fails and frustrations: I put too much pepper in the Beef and Barley stew, and I learned that while my little hand held sewing machine is ok for some stuff, it's definitely going to have trouble taking the place of a full scale model. I also terrified myself about a dozen times forgetting which position was 'locked and off' and which was 'On and hungry for flesh'. 

 I succeeded in making what was probably the worlds shittiest pillowcase for a tiny pillow for the monster ((mostly for play right now, but it's his scale which is kind of awesome.)), but couldn't get the thing to cooperate to actually seam the half finished blanket I had planned for him ages ago. Maybe I'll have to give up and go borrow my mom's sewing machine. *SIGH* X_X

ORLY?

Hey hey, it's time for some new pictures! I've been working hard on trying to teach myself how to crochet, and this has ended up in me working on trying to make a stuffed Barn Owl for The MiniMonster.

He's a big fan of the "Guardian of Ga'hoole" movie, ((and I got the first three books to read to him when he's slightly more patient about that sort of thing. I read them myself and they're actually quite good!)) So to show off that I have successfully taught myself basic crochet ((Now I need to learn how to read crochet instructions so I can do Amigirumi.)) I took a couple pictures of the Owl in Progress.

 His face is a knitted panel with two different strands of yarn to give some color depth ((Palate and I think some Rowan...something.)) and his back is some Lion Brand and another bit of Palate yarn.)) ((Thank you Knitpicks.)) His chest is being knit in a white fluffy yarn for extra snuggle, and I'll add black spots on before I close him up. I forget the brand of the white floofy stuff. So far he's not the most amazing toy owl out there, but I'm actually quite proud of myself!

Eyes and beak will also be added after I'm done hooking my way through his torso. I'll add the tail and some feet (probably Icord constructions) after I've stuffed and sewn the body.

Faggedabadit

 Arguments are complicated things, aren't they? At the roof of things, they're really kind of simple, two people disagree about something, and it either goes in a relatively civil fashion, or it turns into insults and anger, either from one side or both sides.

 I was recently in an argument with one sided insults. I'd rather not really get into depth about the subject of the argument, since it was pretty personal, but over the course of several hours, using text messages and email, the subject I was arguing with repeatedly insulted my intelligence, my judgment and financial skills, and MY HUSBAND.  Apparently, entirely based on the fact that I don't own a microwave or an I-phone, and because we haven't decided to stick two 'twin long' beds together to make a larger bed instead of continuing to use the futon we have until we can afford to get a nice bed that's already the right size... and probably a handful of other things, means that I am clearly in a horrible and abusive relationship and I'm brainwashed.

 Well... they'd probably insist that they meant nothing of the sort, but when your compare my spouse to an known abusive asshat with cryptic warnings that said asshat supposedly 'magically' turned into asshat overnight... yeah. I don't think I really need to explain that one, do I?

 Anyway, this was a major anoyance for me, and I did everything I could to stay calm cool and collected, and pretty much just stopped responding to the chain of attacks and roundabout accusations.

 This morning I got an text from the same person noting how amazing the weather was outside, since it's finally decided to act like April and be sunny and warm ((Although it did 'Sunny and warm' all over me while I was driving out on a few errands. Hello April showers...))

 I didn't respond to that one either. I mean I admit, I used to spend a lot of time fighting with my sister, and we used to kind of just do a 'Faggedabadit' and pretend the whole thing never happened. Sometimes that works. Sometimes that's the only solution if you're stuck with someone... but I'm not ready to do that yet.

Milk Bath

 Well we went out with Grandma S today. That was quite a lot of fun. We discovered (how did I miss this?) That Wendy's version of the 'under three' kids meal has a snoopy board book. ((How AWESOME is that? Mini thought it was fantastic.))

  He enjoyed his burger and fries, and especially enjoyed having his own tiny fry pack within his reach so he could self serve. He kept pulling out fries and stacking them up as though he were waiting for us to take them away and was trying to hoard them.

 There was a little snaffu with the milk though. I tried to give him a sip of milk, and got the now classic "I CAN DO IT" response, of grabbing the bottle and fighting me for it. He succeeded in getting it out of my hands and hoisted it triumphantly over his head...

 ...Spilling milk over his head in the process. His look of shock and amazement was the stuff of legend, sadly there are no pictures, but he will definitely be getting a -real- bath tonight to make sure he doesn't smell like old milk.

 Otherwise we did a little shopping with Grandma, and she bought the monster some more summer stuff. He got some more nice shorts and some little sleeveless shirts I think he'll enjoy. Good times!